Trying To Figure It Out

I went to the doctor that day. My mom had to bring me so that my grandmother could stay with the baby and my husband was at work. I went in and we did some more x-rays and this time we did blood work. The x-rays came back fine. From here he requested an MRI.

The following day I got an MRI on my back. It was slightly nerve-racking since I believe I am claustrophobic. I tried really hard not to open my eyes.

The next day after the MRI, my doctor called me back and told me my blood work all came back fine but I did have compression fractures in 5 of my vertebrae: T12, L1, L2, L3, L4 (with the most height loss at L3). He said no wonder I was in pain. He asked me if I went through anything traumatic recently. I told him about hitting my bed during my last fall. He said in a normal healthy person that would not cause the damage that had occurred in my back.

This was a clue to take things a step further. Next, I had to get a bone density scan.

I went in for my bone scan. At this point it was difficult to walk so I was being wheeled around in a wheel chair all over the hospital trying to figure out where to go.

Once we found it, I went in and got my scan done. It was much less frightening than the MRI. I had to lie on a table and the lady strapped my feet to some sort of contraption. It was slightly painful to lie on my back as I was. For this and the MRI and anytime I had an x-ray I was in a little pain.

I did my bone density scan (often referred to as a DEXA) and it came back that I have Osteopenia. Don’t get me wrong, it could have been much worse. But, the question was, why? Why at 26 did I have low bone density? Most people do not worry about this until menopause. All my blood work looked fine. My calcium and vitamin levels were within range.

This is when the panic started. I used Google to help determine the cause. Since everything else was coming back good, this lead me to one conclusion. I may have cancer.

This brought me into weeks of stress thinking about if I would die. When would it happen?  What would happen to my baby? What would I miss out on? What would she do when she needed her momma and I wouldn’t be around? Would I miss her wedding day? Who would take care of her when I am gone? If I wouldn’t last long, how would I make sure she knew me and knew I loved her so much? How would I make sure certain people stayed in her life?

The questions were endless. I thought about this night and day.

To say depression started to set in would be an understatement. Accompanying the depression was its friends-anxiety and stress. I was a complete MESS for weeks.

Then, one day I started connecting the dots. If nothing cancer related was showing up in my blood work or my many x-rays or my MRI, then it should be safe to say that I probably didn’t have cancer. I don’t want to jinx it; I am still not 100% on what is causing this. But for now I will assume I do not have cancer. The only thing we can chalk this up to is pregnancy and breastfeeding.

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