This is going to be a random post.
Today my baby is 6 months old! I am excited to have been able to keep my tiny human alive for this long (I am sure other new parents stress about this…ex: when they sleep too longer than they usually do so you check to make sure they are still breathing). Here is to many, many, many more years of life and love for my babygirl!
Although the last 3.5 months have been a struggle, I am hoping for better things for the next 3.5 months. Hopefully my back can heal and I can strengthen my muscles so that I can take care of my baby by myself again.
Last night was the first time that I didn’t pump. I have been working to stopping breastfeeding. My feeling is that my nutrients are being depleted from my bones to go into milk for the baby. Its taken me the last 3 months to finally decide to commit to quitting breastfeeding. It has been an enormous struggle both mentally, emotionally and physically. I am 100% pro breastfeeding, but in my case I feel like if stopping MAY help me heal, then it is worth it. At this point I am not being much of a mother. If this helps me to heal like I hope it does and helps the pain to subside and I can return to my duties, then it is worth it to stop. Transitioning to formula was a nightmare for use but I think we have gotten it figured out. Hopefully the rest is smooth sailing.
I guess when they say you should listen to your body, you really should. Maybe if I would have done that, I could have worked on what I needed to and my back wouldn’t have gotten as bad as it did and maybe I could have prevented the falls and fractures and I could have healed faster and taken care of my baby myself.
Coulda, Should, Woulda
I guess I will never know. Maybe I was lucky to have gone through all of this so I could find out about my low bone density and work on it before it was too late. That is what I will tell myself to feel better about months of not being able to handle my baby.
Anyways, 6 months! Aubs likes to rollover, she is working on crawling (she can get up on her knees but can’t figure out the arm part yet), she likes pears and sweet potatoes, she doesn’t like apples. She says momma (not sure if she knows she does or if its just coincidence but I will take it). She has her bottom two teeth. She can almost sit up by herself. She likes The Wiggles, Calliou and Topsy and Tim.
She is my favorite person in the world and although my body isn’t what it used to be (I used to be strong, I could lift things and I used to workout), I wouldn’t trade her for anything. Hopefully this back stuff is just a small part of my life that I will overcome and eventually (soon hopefully) I could be the mother I want to be.
That’s all I’ve got for now. Until next time!