This will be a quick post.
I know its not a competition between Mommy and Daddy, but within the last few weeks I have noticed Aubs would prefer Daddy.
My heart breaks once again.
There was a time where I was the one that fed her, from my body. I was the one that could get her to sleep. I was the one she would cry for when I left the room.
Now, its Daddy.
This is one of the things I feared most when all this started.
As a mother, I think I/we have a want/need to feel wanted/needed. We maintain this by being/providing the nutrition/comfort/etc. for them. When you strip us of the ability to do these things, we are no longer needed. Others fill this position and that’s who becomes the baby’s #1.
Since my injuries, I quit breastfeeding in hopes to heal quicker. I can’t lay with her to get her to sleep like Daddy and others can. I can’t bathe her or carry her around for the basic purpose to get around the house or for comfort (sometimes she likes she be walked around when she is fussy). When she is restless, I can only handle her for so long before it starts to hurt my back.
I am really trying. I am trying my best and I know I cannot do anything more. I am pushing myself more than I used to. I do see and feel progress.
But it doesn’t change the fact that she cries for Daddy and pushes away from me.