I know, this post has a long name. However, it is something I have been thinking about lately so it only makes sense for it to be such.
This week I have started keeping Aubs overnight by myself while my husband is at work.
I haven’t done this since she was 2 months old and now she is going on 8 months.
It has been difficult, but I have been managing.
As tiring as it is, this is what I need. This is what I have been craving for the last 6 months.
It is truly an accomplishment to get my baby girl to sleep. She is the hardest to put down.
But, going through this is satisfying that need I have been having to fully be a mother.
The first night I had her, I put her in her crib briefly while I got a bottle ready. You could have swore that I took her favorite toy away. She screamed and cried. The only word she says right now is, momma.
I know it is okay to let them cry for a minute and I know how I treat her, some would call it spoiling her. To be honest though, it is spoiling me just as much as it is “spoiling” her.
The joy and happiness I get from being able to do these things, these simple day to day things, is something I cannot put into words.
I am her momma, she is my baby. If I had no one else and just had her, I would have everything. I know it would be difficult and that sounds super dramatic, but the last few nights I have spent with her, she has become my best friend. No matter how difficult it has been. She is a part of me. I made her. I am entitled to these feelings.