I know I haven’t been posting much lately. I am still going to physical therapy 3 times a week and now I am trying to learn how to take care of the baby on my own again. Not that I need to learn how, it is more of learning my limits and how I have to navigate it all. I have to put extra thought in every move I make. If not, I get pain and I also don’t want to risk hurting myself again.

I do feel stronger though. My exercises changed a little last week. The things I had extreme difficulty with, I am now doing and doing them properly (I had to modify them before).

I try to be alone with the baby for at least 2 hours a day. This doesn’t seem like much and I know most mothers have their babies 24/7, but I am still limited in what I can do.

I will still consider this progress.

As of now, I mostly just have her in the middle of the day. It is mostly during her playtime in between naps.

The next step for me is getting her to go to sleep. She is one of those babies that fight her sleep until she passes out.

Since she goes between my in-laws, my grandmother and my husband, everyone has their own way of putting her to sleep and she knows what to do with each person. I need to work on developing my own routine to get her to sleep.

Sometimes she wants to be walked around the house until she passes out and that isn’t something I am capable of doing just yet. I can hold her while walking for about 5 minutes, but after that I am done.

Also, sometimes when she is fighting her sleep she wants she climb all over you. I can only handle this for so long also until my back starts hurting.

I feel like these are just a bunch of excuses now what I see them written down, but they aren’t. This is my reality and what I am fighting through to gain control of my life back.



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